I can't stand what i am.

Generally I'm an all around good friend . 

I give everything I possibly could to my friends.

But I literally get straight shit in return. 

I honestly don't understand why I get treated this way.

I care. you dont. 

What's my purpose here ?

I sat there for hours listening to you complain about long hours of work or who was being a "bad friend" and your stupid non-life changing problems.

never once was i asked how my day was.

truth is: i actually had a life-changing problem.

and you neglect to even see that im just another human.

please. just see through that.

I dont understand why you wont just let go.

If love is brighter then sunshine then why can't you see how much you mean to me? If its not love, what is it?

Why can't you see my secret?

Easier to lie.

I would never want to wish upon you my past. But I wish you could see me for who I really am. You put on an all knowing facade acting like you are the all mighty of life. You dont know what Ive been through. 

You have a perfect life.

You have never seen the other side of the window.

I lie to you everyday and say I'm fine and smile.

You should know by now.

Where were you when I needed you most?

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

-John Gardner

Life is such a simple thing. But even the simplest things in life are the ones I don’t understand.  I wish I could even remotely understand the point to my existence here on “earth”. Not to sound like an alien or a super conspiracy theorist or whatnot but seriously. Isn’t this all one huge mind fuck? If you really sit down, Close your eyes, and think about it you would understand.  If we are put here, why remove us? Everybody dies but not everyone lives right? So what is the point, to have an ever continuous so called “human race”? Because honestly right now, Its making me think big time. And it’s scary if you really think about how big the universe really is, how humans are really new borns in the sense of how little we know and how small we really are compared to the rest of the universe. Is there some big lesson to be learned before we die? Or is there no specific time to die? Virginia Woolf once said "Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more.” True, but ponder that right there.

What is the value of life anyway?

I hate this.

   Don't you dare try and act like you know me.

 

YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.

Ohhh  snickers<3

why.

it sucks to remember
That this time last year, things were completely different

I wasnt sure just what to say.

I'm starting to really hate the radio. Not only does it not play the music i'm most interested in, but they pick 40 songs and play them over and over again.

People think I'm weird because my iPod is so packed with a variety of music.

Also, I loose myself in my music. Reality is irrelevant at the moment. Walks with my ipod and camera are all i need.

Spring break has given me a chance to stock up on new music, and escape from the world.